Diary of Lorraine
by that.annoying.kid
Summary: "We're perfect for each other, but nobody else can see it..." Eyeball and Lorraine have been dating for three months, but it's not going anywhere! Why does he play hot and cold? What is it about him that has her so riled up? This summary sucks!
1. Chapter 1

**Name:** Lorraine Miller  
**Address:** 60 Seater Road, Castle Rock  
**Occupation:** Assistant Librarian

I'm not good at these things, but my best friend Annie has suggested that I keep a journal to record my feelings since I am not the best at dealing with my emotions. So, here I am on the seventh of May at 11.57 pm unable to sleep again which is something I am familiar with.

His name is Richie, and for some unknown reason I can't get the thought of him out of my mind. He is the very definition of perfection. Problem is, he knows it. Oh, God! I picture his sexy black hair and how soft it feels in my hands when I touch it and how it always falls back perfectly into place. Those electric blue eyes of his just stand out in radiance and when he smiles, they sparkle.

Now, this guy is big. He's chubby, but beautiful. He has a stomach, and I love beer bellies on men. His arms are so big and strong, when they're around me I feel safe. No other man has made me feel so warm and safe before in my life.

When he's concentrating on something, he sticks his mouth out a little bit with his bottom jaw over his top. It's the cutest thing I have ever seen.

My friends tease me, they joke about his weight. I don't see what they do because if I'm standing when I think about him, I have to sit down.

Has anyone ever felt this way about someone? The very thought of their name sends goosebumps over your skin, the sound of their voice just makes your whole body smile and when they call you, your whole day brightens a million times brighter and happier and funner. Is that even a word? Who cares! This is how Richie makes me feel.

_On a good day._

And they seem to be getting less and less.

It started about six months ago, and I never knew this guy from Adam.

I had just been heartbroken by a young man named Lennard (known as Lenny by everybody else in Castle Rock.) He was a beauty! Blonde, tanned, outgoing. Girls all over the place were after him, and he had them all. He was a player, he admitted it. I always liked how upfront he was, he knew exactly who and what he was.  
Then one day out of the blue he dumped me for another girl, just like that. He called me and told me he couldn't see me anymore that he had met a girl he really liked and wanted to settle down with. I was shattered, I cried for about a week. Not long after, I met Richie and forgot about Lenny.

My best friend Annie had suggested I go to a singles party that she had heard of. I begrudgingly went with her, with her insistance that it would be fun and it really, and truly was. We both met a number of people who I have not kept in contact with for obvious reasons but the person who stuck out to me most was Richie. Good old Richie "Eyeball" Chambers.

I wasn't interested at first but then within a week or so I couldn't stop thinking about him, and the way he called me 'cutie' and sent me kisses on little notes and called me every day asking how I was. He seemed to really care and speak to me with so much respect and friendliness. He was shy too, which was endearing. I am a loud person by nature, I don't know what a quiet voice of mine even sounds like, I don't know how to hush. I guess from coming from a large family and being the only girl, you kind of find your voice and don't stop using it. His quietness and eagerness really warmed me to him. I thought he was pretty fantastic.

It took him three months, to actually ask me to meet him again. We had arranged to meet in town many nights, but it never went to plan seeing that he would never be where he said he was or I had to leave before he was even there.

I came to the conclusion that he was shy, and needed to be drunk to have the confidence to see me again. I may have been totally off the mark, considering that these days I am always wrong about him.

I met him at his house one night after having known him for three months. I remember that it was past midnight when he asked me over, because he has only finished work since he was a shift worker.

I said a million times before, _he was the sweetest guy I had ever met_ and we got along like a house on fire. He made me laugh, and we talked about deep and personal things. Cuddles turned into a little kiss and that little kiss turned more passionate. We didn't go any further that night, I wanted to earn his respect. I was still hurt from Lenny and promised I would never sell myself short again.

Boy, was I a dumbass!


	2. Chapter 2

**15th March**

Okay, so it's been a few days since my last update but that's okay since the last few days have been AWESOME! People at work are noticing my change in mood, my friends are overjoyed at how happy I have been for the past few days, since recently I had been feeling so down about Richie. I saw him on Sunday, the first time in over five weeks! He is so cute! Why does he have to be amazing? He smells soo good. I can still smell him on the clothes I wore when I picked him up from town.

He rang me on Sunday morning about four thirty in the morning, he was drunk at a payphone.

I remember the feeling when I recognised his voice on the other end of the phone, it was like my dream came true. I wished it was his voice on the other end as soon as picked it up and his voice drunkenly sang my name happily. Relief streamed through my veins, goosebumps and smiles covered every inch of my body. Oh, I'm such a romantic but if you saw this guy you would have to understand. None of my friends understand, but they're stupid. This guy is the sexiest thing in the world.

He said he had been calling since 2am but I was obviously fast asleep. Luckily it was a Saturday night, well, Sunday morning…

Anyway, I remember his words, _"There are no pretty girls here, I wish you were here. Can you pick me up and we can have some fun?"  
_ The first sentence kind of threw me off. Was he saying he thought I was pretty and missed me? Does he think I'm prettier than any other girl in Castle County? Why would he say that to me?

He wanted a lay. Yeah, that's probably it. He got it though. Needless to say I picked him up, and took him back to mine where we stayed up until 7 in the morning rolling around on my bed together.

I'm getting a little side tracked, I haven't even filled out the rest of the story. Just as I get started and ready to wipe my hands of the little idiot Richie, he comes crawling back in my life.

Annie was right, this journal has kind of helped. After only two entries, I feel my mind is clearer.

* * *

Okay, so once again let's start from the beginning, beginning. The very beginning. My ex-boyfriend beginning.

I was in a relationship with Pearson since we were seventeen, so I was with him for nearly four years. One night we had the biggest fight we ever had, and we decided to take a break. That very night I bumped into Lenny at a friend's house. We slept together, and that was okay. We did it again the next night. And the night after that. About a week later, we did it again. We were both using each other for only one thing for about three months. Then he decided he wanted to settle down, which in the end, I'm totally cool with. We're still friends and we still talk on a regular basis. Nobody in our circle of friends knows of our fling, not even his girlfriend or my ex, Pearson.

Pearson and I tried to give our relationship another shot, which lasted about a month before it went sour again. What he doesn't know is, I actually met Richie before we got back together.

The whole time I was back with Pearson, all I could think about was Richie. So, I basically left him for Richie.

* * *

Now that little interlude is said, let's go back to the time after Richie and I met again that night after our very, very first kiss and where I resisted to let him take my pants off (which is really hard for me!) =) =) =)

So, I left his house about 5am that morning I drove to visit him for the first time because I had to take my housemate to work (she works in a bakery) and he walked me to my car like a gentleman, and kissed me goodbye. From then on, he was hooked to me. I was literally on cloud 9! Well, not literally but it felt soo much like it.

I honestly have never felt the pull towards someone like I feel for him. I mean, its dead set attraction, I know that but there's something else about it that I can't explain. I believe in fate and that everything has a reason and meaning. The pull I feel toward him, I think has something to do with it.

He rang me as soon as I got home, he said that his pillows smelt like me and that I smell _"Pretty darn good." _He rang me at work three hours later asking how my day was. He was soo sweet! I thought he was interested in me, like he would ask me to be his girlfriend. But that never happened, and hasn't happened yet.

In the first week we started "seeing" each other, he couldn't go two days without seeing me.

Then one night my grandpa had a heart attack. I was with Richie when I found out, and he flipped.

Things haven't been the same since.


End file.
